I hope you had a good weekend, dear reader. Mine was good. I needed all the time to relax and refill my batteries. In Saturday I was out with my friend on a dinner. To be social kind of. Unfortunately, I don’t have many friends that I can go out with nowadays. They either have families or are occupied with other stuff. I don’t have any girlfriend as well, even if I’ve been at dates. I don’t really know what I do wrong. And I don’t want to be a prick and send tons of messages or something like that.

I always wondered when I will find “the right one”. I have been in relationships before, but it unfortunately never quiet worked out in long term. And how will you explain this, bipolar and such, for any of your dates? Or, when you become involved in a relationship? Last time I tried to explain, she didn’t wanted to marry with me.

I took so many great wisdoms from people who really cared of me and I tried to be wise at this to understand and yet I cannot understand. Last time I was in relationship was 2018. I tried my best but it didn’t worked out. What else can I do? Or shall I live my life in celibacy? I will be this week 39 year old. It feels as my life just vanished through my eyes, that I wasted my young years away. Most of them was in my illness, which I got my first psychosis in 2005 (when I was 21).

I don’t know. Sometimes it feels as if my self esteem has hit rock bottom. And pulverised. Okay, no more of this. I don’t want to make YOU depressive when reading my blab about my relationships, dates and such dear reader. I only hope it will sort out to the better. That’s all. Have a lovely week!

Skickat från min iPhone med Tapatalk