I understand. I too am attached to my therapist and it would be difficult for me to leave him. However, I can't imagine him doing something like that to any of his patients, and perhaps least of all to me - not because I'm super special to him, but because of my issues he is paying special attention to being as consistent as possible to me. It's about what I need, not about what he wants, and I think this is amazing and while it is probably quite rare for a therapist to do this to this degree, I mention it because it is in such a stark contrast to what your therapist does that it highlights very much the extreme to which she is taking her disregard of your needs.

I think you are doing the right thing in setting yourself a deadline. When it comes, you still have all the options, but maybe it wouldn't hurt to look around for a new T. You don't have to tell her about it either, you don't have to burn that bridge, but it's good to have options and I do believe that you deserve better.