I know I can't mourn around the kids, and I know that expressing things like that makes our oldest feel unsettled. That was kind of my point. This is hard. Saying Most people get married expecting to be together forever doesn't negate that. This is hard.

I'm cleaning out mementos and keepsakes from 25 years ago when we were dating. I don't want to slander her, I don't want to talk too much about her, and I can't openly mourn. "Get a therapist" isn't cheap, and waiting several weeks to mourn with someone for an hour is hard.