Losing your T after so many years is terribly hard.
I hope whomever you do find will help you with benzos. I must have told you but my memory is horrible. Years ago I was taking 100 mg of Valium a day.(my doctor said it was fine..) I don't know how, but I got off of it by myself after a massive od. Is there some herbal thing that might make it easier. I'm thinking of you, little turtle.