So I have a habit of googling all my therapists and looking them up on social media. It is embarrassing to admit but I often I have to go to great efforts to find them.

I've been seeing my current T for a few months now and I found her and her family members on social media. Yesterday, through these searches I came across some personal information about a tragedy that has recently occurred in her family and this morning I received an email from T saying she will need to cancel our session as she has had to travel unexpectedly for family. I feel horrible that I know the reason for this as it 100% none of my business. I wish I hadn't looked her or her family up but I can't undo it now.

I don't know if I should bring this up or not as I feel so guilty about it. I have a real compulsion to look her up as well as ex Ts and it is very difficult for me to stop. I have two ex Ts now who ended things poorly and I never got closure which I think is why I still look them up but it is preventing me from moving on. I want to be able to stop this behaviour because it is not helping me and it is now at a point where it is going to affect my current therapy as well.

I'm just worried T will be mad at me or not want to see me anymore. I feel horrible that I have invaded her privacy like this. I just wanted to feel connected between sessions, I just want to know her and I didn't expect to come across something like this