I saw the new guy again last night and it was a bit strange.

We went to see music and drove there separately. When I arrived, he stood miles apart from me in the music venue, seemingly wanting space from me. I thought it was very odd given he had just spent the night with me, so I stayed away a lot of time, but would go to his side to dance near him from time to time. But Jay (that';s his name) continued to keep his distance.

Finally, I asked his buddy what was up... I asked him if Jay wanted space from me and if he liked me. His friend asked me what I am looking for, and I said well, I don't know, but I don't want a fling.... his buddy then tells me that Jay is not a player, that he is not looking for a fling either, that he DOES like me and wants to hang out with me.... that he doesn't want space from me and wants me to hang out with him...

After a while, I was a little tipsy from a few drinks and asked Jay to come home with me, despite me having a 15-minute interview in the AM. Jay opted to drive back to his home in New York and not spend the night. He told me he's trying to do the adult thing, which is to allow me proper prep time for my interview. He did kiss me goodbye and sent me a text when he arrived home.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I want to take things at a faster pace, and am impatient. I know I need to slow myself down and really get to know this guy's character, but when I really like a guy and when I get excited like I am now, I go all in instead of hanging back, taking my time.... I've always been this way and need to change. I already get butterflies when thinking of Jay, and I really enjoy his company. I'm gonna have to take things at his pace and I am not used to that...

Change is HARD.