Quote:
Originally Posted by comrademoomoo
I don't think you need to be honest about the fact of your Googling. Stuff on social media is public and if people don't want information to be accessible to strangers, they need to take responsibility for not sharing personal information in world wide arenas. Therapists and their families are not a special case. If it's out there to be read, your reading of it is not an overstep.
In many ways, I think the Googling itself is a bit of a red herring. I would want to explore what was driving my need to Google. For me, my questions would include am I searching for connection and reassurance? Do I feel safer observing the family events of others because my own relations are overwhelming? What aspects of my internal world are trying to get my needs met by social media searching? And what is my guilt about? That I am not deserving of connection?
You can explore the underlying needs without exposing the extent of your searching. Therapeutically, the searching itself is probably the least important factor. You don't need to hide the level of your searching because it is wrong or something to be ashamed of (it's normal and expected, why else do people post stuff to be read?!). Nor do I think you should hide your actions out of fear (although I have no doubt that some therapists would not respond compassionately). You do not need to be 100% transparent, you are allowed to have private actions. Exploring our needs is the most important factor for clients.
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Yes, a big part of it for me is trying to find connection, particularly between sessions. I also just want to know what sort of person my T is outside of our sessions.
As for my ex-Ts, I am still in search of answers as to why things ended the way they did. One of them ended things quite abruptly and then told right at the end of our final session she was closing her practice and I never got to discuss this with her.
My most recent ex-T went on maternity leave but has ended up extending that leave by another 6 months and has since behaved in a way that is totally out of character for her. She told me she would keep me updated if anything changed, she didn't. She told me I could email her life updates while she was on leave but it seems she changed her mind. Again, I have no answers or explanation for this. I have the option of going back to her when she returns and discussing this but it won't be until next year. I just can't seem to let these things go and I guess I'm just hoping to find some explanation for their behaviour in my online searches.
I think these things can be discussed and explored without me telling T what I found out about her/her family.