Good luck on your next interview. It sounds like a good opportunity to start fresh.

Your friend Jay is acting like a decent man. It sounds like he wants to go slow too and treated you with respect. There are many men who would get invited to spend the night by a woman who was a bit tipsy from drinking and they wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of that. He said no and is still talking to you and interested in getting to know you. Enjoy being treated with respect.
I know how different that is for someone who was not treated well in other relationships. It takes time to get used to it. Be patient with yourself and with him. You deserve to be respected. In time it will be easier to be treated well.