RD, people high on the scale of narcissism have a great need for control. They like to be the center of attention and don’t care if it’s at the expense to others. This is why addiction AUD has many narcissistic behaviors and also denials and deceptions to prevent revealing someone has a problem. Marriage counseling doesn’t work because these individuals do not want to lose any control.

Children become a problem in their teens mainly because this is when they test and develop their sense of self. A narcissistic parent needing the control can become bossy and unstable and resentful.

Things you shared about her so called friends encourage the “ I am the victim “ and just use men and don’t give them power. Your wife began to lie about things you did and exaggerate because these are tactics used to gain power. This kind of person is a bottomless pit and you can never fill their void.

It’s important you understand this and commit to maintaining strong boundaries.