Just caught up, having been away from this thread for a while.

RDM, pleased you are making progress and children are more relaxed. It will take time and you will have moments of self-doubt. Very good to hear that your children are now benefitting from a more positive environment.

Not wishing to hijack this thread but comments made by Open Eyes, in particular, have explained so much about my mother's behaviour (without the alcohol). An acquaintance recently observed, without knowing my background, that we're often conditioned to believe certain things; it's only when we gain more life experience that we begin to question. He's right, my questioning of her attitude is uncomfortable for her, resulting in the need to control becoming stronger.