These comments are made to "press buttons".

My brother recently told me I was just like our mother, "two peas in a pod". As I was in his house, all I said was "oh really, what do you base that on". He didn't add any further comment. Then phones me a few days later to suggest dinner one evening (just him and me) to discuss mother's failing health. I thought, at last he's going to listen and understand. Another part of me says he'll just try to brainwash me.

Am not like our mother. Although we are individuals (everyone else is taken!), my mother is exactly like her own was. Horrible, self-centred, narcissistic, narrow-minded. These are not traits I would be proud of and endeavour to avoid. I don't feel part of my family, just someone on the edge. Disappointing yes, hurtful yes, but I don't want to be part of the manipulative behaviour and ignoring reality, "just for a quiet life".

Can fully understand how you feel