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Because you have had negative thoughts drilled into you as a child, unfortunately it sticks and y believe the lies and the hurt. But that behavioural pattern can also be undone with positive thought and people like us telling you each day you are worthwhile and you are a lovely person and you are entitled to respect. Keep your good friends close and get rid of the ones who constantly hurt you..... they are not true friends .....
my heart aches for you too, take it easy, please don't give yourself such a hard time and accept this hug i'm giving you

((((((((((((((((((((((9Griffe)))))))))))))))))))))
wish it was a real one sweetie, please take care, Jin xoxoxoxoxoxoxo