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Old Mar 25, 2023, 05:57 AM
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Have Hope Have Hope is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,726
So, for starters, I am beginning to feel more skeptical over the new guy, Jay, which I am glad about because I have been overly zealous about him and want to slow down and get to know his character.

I am against strip clubs, and I will not date men who go to strip clubs or who use porn. And I do not know how to approach this topic with a new man in my life. Jay has gone to a lot of strip clubs in the past, in high school and college as a former hockey player, His whole hockey team would go to the strip clubs together after their practice.

Well, last night on our drive home with his buddy, Sean, Jay mentioned going to a strip club as we passed one on the highway, which sparked a little bit of convo about strip clubs. I came out with the fact that I am offended by them, and that I saw my best friend in high school go way down the tubes getting addicted to cocaine and stripping in a sleazy club in the city.

This was the first time that I brought up the fact that strip clubs offend me. I want to find out if Jay still goes to these types of clubs and where he stands on them now. We've only been hanging out for a couple of weeks, and I don't know how to broach this subject since I don't think we're officially "dating" yet, or we are, but it's so early on that we don't know where it's headed or how serious it will be.

I am trying to get to know him better and want to get to know him better. But strip clubs are a dealbreaker for me, and I need to figure out exactly how to approach this subject with someone early on in the courtship??

He also is toying with moving to the Caribbean, which will make this a moot point if he does. He tells me he is semi serious about it, so there's a distinct possibility he may not move at all.

So, how do I bring this up to him?? AND the subject of porn, since that is also a dealbreaker for me. I don't want to scare him away by bringing it up too early, but I also want to nip this early on IF he does still go to these clubs and if he does regularly use porn.... even when he's coupled up. That's where I draw the line with porn... I can accept a man using it while he is single, but not when in a couple or when seriously dating.
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Last edited by Have Hope; Mar 25, 2023 at 06:11 AM.
Thanks for this!
indigo1015