I agree that the relationship is unhealthy, however your self medicating with alcohol is behind your poor decision making.

My husband has been sober for over 32 years and he has tried to help and support others in their effort to also live a sober life. Sadly over the years many have chosen to continue drinking and in each case it was their own undoing on many levels including suffering organ failure many only in their 50’s.

Also, many make very poor relationship choices and protecting their desire to keep drinking choose to blame every relationship failure on the other person. Then they return to clubs and bars and casinos only to once again choose the wrong partner always missing the clear red flags.

You cannot fix this toxic controlling partner. Instead focus on yourself and stop abusing alcohol.