I don't know have i lived particularly secured life or what, but i get very anguished when i read posts here that reveal some of that cruelty of the world... ..just a side note here (cuz i'm very worried u take this the wrong way and hate me): i'm definitely NOT saying there shouldn't be posts like that, actually i think it's great that u can share such painful stuff... I just shouldn't read it, i don't know why i do since i know it depresses me

i can hear stuff like that from the news, or stuff like bombings or natural catastrophes, and i wont care.. actually it affects me so little it scares me i TRY to find some feeling in me about it, but nothing, it just isn't there...

but then, when i hear a person telling these things personally... i just fall apart for example i tried to overdose when this girl (who took care of my horse now and then, so not like my friend even) told me she had got this thing in her back... don't know what it is in english.. that pressed her spinal cord, she couldn't walk and it was very painful... she was telling me how scared she was and the doctors didn't want to do surgery cuz the risk of paralysis was so major

i don't know... maybe i never grew up or something but i just can't understand how can such things happen stuff that i read here is so much worse, cuz it isn't just nature doing it's tricks it's PEOPLE, i can't understand why someone hurts another person so badly it causes lifelong trauma

the world being what it is, i don't know how anyone can get out of the bed in the morning