last night i went to a party, even though i have been trying to stay away from parties. i had sex with a guy who looked just like one of my abusers. but when i was drunk, i didnt realize it. it was when i woke up next to him i saw the same face i see in my nightmares. it scared me so much, i left right away. but now...i cant stop thinking about it. and even though people say that getting abused isnt your fault, this wasnt abuse so it was definetly my fault. im so shaken today and i feel trapped in my body. i need to get away from myself. i hate myself for what i did.
i know all this is my fault, but i really need some or any support. please.