It’s like an exorcism in that the bad presence is gone and the house can be warm and sunny again.

In your case, your wife made this choice.

Now YOUR healing with your children can begin. I am hoping that your wife can’t just show up and disturb that. I could see that when she did that both you and your children were triggered. That is a reaction that is direct to the nervous system and it’s not a choice.

When the counselor suggested the children not be forced to stay with their mother, that is saying a lot. Children need to know if they speak up about feeling unsafe they will be heard.

You are not being mean or abusive when you set boundaries and say no.