I have a lawyer drawing up a separation agreement. Meanwhile, I am debating inviting my husband for upcoming holiday dinner. It’s always about dinner parties with me, lol! Am I kidding myself thinking we are going to be separated but be friends? Can that work for now until he meets another woman? I don’t want another man. I feel too broken for that now. But I assume he will find another woman. I think I am hoping if I include him in the family holiday and stay his friend that it will stall off the inevitable where he finds someone else. Yuck on me. I know I can’t stay his wife, his intimate partner. That part was totally dysfunctional and the sick, abusive part of our relationship. But the family and friendship was always so good.

I think he is going for this kind of relationship now, too. He didn’t need to make that thread including me with all the kids. Is he trying to reel me back in or is he just wanting this to be our new normal? Can I just go with this for now and worry about how it will change once he finds someone else? Heck, maybe it can all be so friendly that his new partner can be my new bff???

I feel he is the nicest guy who just simply does not have empathy. Yes, he completely turned a blind eye to my hysteria that he caused and he “let” me nearly kill myself. Partly, I feel he pushed me to that, but so nicely, so politely. He could be the kindest predator ever. Idk is that just crazy thinking? But I came back from the brink and got better. I got stronger and got him out. But he’s still acting so, so nice. I even had a dream last night that he was acting like nothing ever happened. Really, I have a fear that he would act like none of this ever happened and that I am just out of my mind and imagined everything.

What kind of person causes their partner severe emotional distress, watches it without helping, getting them help, continues to cause it, continues to promise to stop and change, then doesn’t? And this went on for decades. Is it the nicest guy in the world who simply has no self awareness and no empathy or is it a psycho?