Dr. Carter also focuses a lot on healing and moving forward.

ETA: RD, I've been debating about whether to post this, and decided to on the off chance that it is helpful to you. Take it or leave it as you please.

There's a book titled Stop Walking on Eggshells. It deals primarily with borderline personality, and it might be relatable to your situation. However, as I recall, it had quite a bit of information and considerations regarding divorcing an abusive cluster b. It might give you some ideas on what types of things she might try, and what you might need to do to protect yourself and your children. It was a while back that I read it, but it seems like the big concern was that the abusive borderline coerces the situation to make it seem as thought they are the victim and the true victim is the abuser.