OK.
What I'm hearing is you can't/won't do anything to prevent an outburst as you "lose control". It's not your fault. You've told us so yourself.

Are you looking for a free pass for bad behaviour that you're willing to unleash on the forum? To blame it on an admin for "screaming" at you? For being "cruel" to you? After all it's not your fault. You "lose control".

Or are you just giving us a heads up that sooner or later you'll lose your "stinky brown stuff" and get banned? So this is just an early goodbye.

What are you willing to do to prevent a recurrence of what has happened at other forums? You have an awareness that your behaviour can get out of control. You have an awareness that if you do the same thing here there is a potential of being banned.

The only question is: What are you willing to do to prevent it?