willowtigger. You have been here for like what, a year? I don't think you have received any of the treatment that you have received at other forums, by the admins on this forum. Everyone is trying to help you feel secure here. No one is trying to hurt you, or scream at you, or threaten you. As far as I know, no one is trying to ban you. Please try to rest in the fact that these things are not happening here. I understand they happened in the past at other forums, but this is not the same thing. Please don't upset yourself by what might happen. Stay in the present moment. Do your best to be encouraging and supportive of other members and you will be fine. HUGS Kit