Bill3, very well said.

My perspective is it's like there's constant drama around them that engulfs you. And you take blame and responsibility for whatever isn't right. Then, when you remove the drama, you realize life isn't really very hard after all. It was them that made mountains of molehills and projected it on you.

I feel for you, RD, I also miss having an adult companion, but you probably also realize that you can no longer have those moments with her. Sometimes i think of DH as two different people, and while the old one had some underlying dysfunction, he had some very good qualities too, and we had some good times. Now, he's a different person. Something changed for reasons that may never be understood. Anyhow, guess what I'm trying to say is that you can cherish those memories and grieve what you've lost. It wasn't a lie, but rather it's morphed into something less healthy.

(Hugs). Stay strong.