Thanks everyone. This is really insightful. And something surprising happened today.

I'm off work today, running for Dr appointments, dentist appointment, DMV for driver license photo, etc.

On the way I bumped into the ex wife of an old friend. She asked about kids and family, and I filled her in on my situation. So then we made plans to hook up later tonight, no strings attached.


I'm Kidding!

She and he parted on good terms years ago and each moved on and remarried.

I told her my situation and that the kids are with me. She said she wasn't surprised, and that she knew it wasn't what I wanted.

?????

What do you mean not surprised??

Well.... She had a pretty cushy deal. We all saw it, and she still wasn't happy. You looked after kids, and house, and cars, and meals, and her, and you worked at everything. She never worked much and never held a job for long, and she just seemed like she was always looking for something more. Did you guys ever do Love Languages? Mine is time, I want my husband's time. That's why me and first husband spilt up, he had endless hobbies he pursued on his own. Well, she would have checked most of those boxes. She wanted your time, she wanted lots of affirmation, she wanted lavish gifts. I think she wanted status without responsibility, like to marry rich or something. And RD, that just isn't you. You're just down to earth and look after everyone and everything. We all saw everything you did for her and your kids. And you were her only long term relationship so she didn't even have a comparison to make and couldn't appreciate what she had. She had a good life, with good kids, in a nice home, with a husband who contributed a lot at home and made a good living. Maybe she'll find what she's looking for but it doesn't reflect on you. What does she think dating looks like at our age? How much time, interest, and commitment do you get from someone who already has a life without you? It took me 7 years of dating to find someone else, and I hated every minute of it. Good luck to her. You were the solid one and at least your kids are old enough to recognize that.

Holy ****. I was stunned. My friend and this woman split up about 10 years ago. We used to see them all the time, but only cross paths with her maybe a couple of times a year since they split up.

I couldn't believe how she assessed that, and just volunteered all that info in a span of a few minutes.

RDMercer