So T ended up replying an offering me a session time but unfortunately I wasn’t able to make it work so I just saw her at my usual time which was today.

The session was horrible. I tried to talk about all the other things that have been on my mind but I struggled to open up. I felt disconnected from T and I didn’t know how to ask for what I needed. There were a lot of silences. T asked me several times if I had any feelings about the cancellation and her delayed email response but I didn’t know what to say without mentioning the fact that I knew why she cancelled.

I feel like I wasted the session and just feel worse than before. I now have to suffer another week alone until I see her again. I don’t know if I should email her and ask if I can book in an extra session next week. I feel embarrassed to do so and I worry I’m just going to waste that one too.