Someone on here had told me once or twice "let the side of you that wants to save yourself... win".

That struck a significant chord with me and has stayed with me throughout my own separation and divorce. And I think it could also help you, in the moments of nostalgia and longing... those feelings don't just disappear overnight, but in time, you will see that saving yourself and your kids is the best decision you will have ever made. You don't need "someone" to save you - you need to save yourself.