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CANDC · Apr 01, 2023 at 11:19 AM

Hi @Borderline Female - glad you are here at MSF. I hear you saying you want children but part of you seems to recognize that children are a big commitment and can be a real challenge while struggling with mental health issues.

I think having someone to care for is a basic human need. It is built into our biology and that is how we survived so long. But with 8 billion humans in the world we really can afford for not everyone to have kids. my sister calls her dogs "my kids" and she treats them well and they respond with love and affection. They have dog sitters if someone has a bad day but it is hard to pass off your kids to someone else.

I think your feelings are real, but having kids is not the only option. Working as a volunteer with young children or special needs children is a possible outlet to express that need. Working in a pet shelter could be too or even adopting a rescue dog. It should be something that feels right to you, but also consider the time commitment. Kids are 18 years or more if the child is unable to live on their own.

Have you considered a BPD support group? Some people have good results with those. When I do not fit into the world MSF is a great place for me to go! @CANDC