Thanks for the support. I don't have anywhere to turn to here at home, so it really helps to know I can go somewhere for help.

This is the fifth day in a row that I haven't left my house... I wish I could find a job; I have eight applications floating around right now, but the job market in most parts of the US is just bone dry.

Mydad was kicked off of medicaid when my mom passed... Thank you 'compassionate conservatives'. He might be able to qualify for medicare, but I'm not sure. What he really needs is mental help. I don't know what kind of problems he has, but he is just a mess in his head, and absolutely explosive emotionally. His side of the family is not very supportive, unfortunately. We've lived in complete poverty for over ten years now, and all his family can do is blame him for our poverty and begrudgingly lend us a couple bucks when we're in threat of eviction or losing our electricity or what have you. And my mom's side of the family hates him; he has a tendency to scream at people and get upset for no reason, so I guess I can't really blame them. He's pretty hard to understand.

I'm just so tired of being alone. Away from school, I feel so purposeless. I have research and other things to do regarding grad schools and my fall thesis, but I'm just so wiped out emotionally that I just can't bring mysellf to do anything. And I hate myself for it... During the school year, I grind myself down, working incessantly, and now I can't even flip a page in a book. I don't know what to do.

Thanks for hearing me out

(((((Fuzzybear)))))) ((((((nightbird))))))

-J