@Samicat

Please take your grief serious. You found a woman who became some sort of a mother like person to you. It is good that you met her. You liked her very, very much. It is natural to feel grief.

Of course you are worthy of love. We all are and you are not an exception!

Let the grief loose for some days, let your tears come. When the first days have past, put up a "grief-time". I mean it is very difficult to function to the fullest when in grief. It can be worth trying to do the things you need to do, but if the grief comes in a very strong manner, let it come outside of your grieftime. With "grief time" I meant that it may be more easy to do your daily duties if you have set apart a special time each day to grieve, to think about what you shared, your happy moments, your laughs and your struggles if there where any.

Slowly, slowly you will find back to a more normal life! Use your grief to build your future. Be kind to yourself, have some cups of the tea you like, or hot chocolate ... Make nutritious meals!

If the graveyard is far a way, you can make your own "graveyard". I did that once, I draw a grave-stone, with the usual cross at the top and the name and more. Find your own way to do it. The important is that you have a special place to grieve and slowly, slowly let the grief process heal you.

I hope you don't feel this as a way of intruding in your life. It's just some ideas I wanted to give you that you can use as they are or inspire you to find other ways to try to function and still give room for the grief.

I wish you well!