hi everyone,

I have been in an abusive relationship for 27 years. I didn't realize my hubby is a communal narcissist until couple months ago. The last 27 years I have tried to live through his abusive behaviors. Whenever he was angry, he was on the tough of his lung by screaming, cursing my entire family & me included my passed away dad whom he has never met( my dad passed away before I met my hubby). In my household, he is always right. He always gaslights me for his mistakes. He has no problem cursing me in front of other people. You probably ask why I am still with him. We have 2 kids together and a business. Besides his blow ups movements, he is a good husband and dad to our children. But I feel like walking on the eggshells around my own home. He can get angry easily and he would shut me out for weeks after each exploded anger. Each time he would threaten to leave me and my kids. Recently we had a small incident, not even my fault, he started to curse my family and me while my younger daughter in the car with us. He said my parents are dogs and give birth to dogs. he also said that he does not value me in a relationship with him and it hurts a lot and I was silent the entire ride and pretended like nothing has happened but deep down from my heart, I am hurt so deeply. Yesterday he said it again and he wants a divorce and he said that he wants freedom. I am so done at this point. I am reaching a breaking point. However, why do I still feel so hurt and mourning this relationship? I know he is not worth for my mental health. Should I move forward with a divorce? I don't like a divorce and go through this while I am reaching my early 50. I am mourning that I have wasted my 27 years of life for the man who doesn't value me. Please give me some advice. I need help. I thank you in advance for your feedbacks.