I was apathetic since I was traumatized. So I don't know. Nothing makes sense. I really mean that. Everything is complete nonsense. I don't care. I don't know who I am. Life is too much work. I've been bossed around all of my life. I'm tired of it to death. Even my mom, everyone just tells me what to do and what I'm doing wrong. I want all of existence to stop. I want death to all of this hallucination.