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Apr 02, 2023, 05:50 PM
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Desert Kitty hates titles
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Location: TARDIS
Posts: 12,524
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rdgrad15
It appears as if some people are destined to wait for others to reach out rather than putting themselves out there. We're always told to put ourselves out there to meet new people but it never worked out well anytime I did that. I was always met with people acting annoyed that I approached them even if they weren't in a conversation even though other people can do the exact same thing and they have no problems. I don't like annoying others or being seen as someone who can't take the hint so that's why I always wait for others to initiate contact and it has proven to be more beneficial.
Now I'm not saying you should stand in a corner and act all closed off but at the same time waiting for others to approach while giving off an open approachable vibe seems to be better than outright putting yourself out there. I know it's easy to tell when someone is forcing to put themselves out there and it shows and can even come off as cringy and I'm sure I came off that way myself. It does appear some people are naturally able to meet others without turning them off and others aren't able to do that and I think that's just how it is for certain people including me. Has anyone else have similar thoughts or experiences?
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I agree.... "Putting oneself out there" is always easier for extroverts, but like you said it can come across as cringy because I'm sure people can tell it's forced. Like you waiting for others to initiate contact has been better because I always have been the one to either initiate communication or keep it going. And it's getting exhausting and one-sided. It's always me to have to follow up on a call, text, or email. I know that's not exactly the same thing but now I wait for them to get back to ME. I sent a reply, so reply back to me. I'm not going to go after them anymore. If they want contact, they know where to find me.
Being that my efforts to find new people hasn't worked or else I ended up with sub-standard "friends" or acquaintances, of which I don't need more of THOSE. Like you I'm introverted and can tell when I'm not wanted. My BS meter usually works but last few years, it hasn't worked the way it usually does. That "little voice" or gut feeling didn't warn me of someone who's fake. But I found out anyway, the painful way.
Anyway I feel the same way you do and have similar experiences. I'd rather a new friendship unfold at its own pace and not be forced or rushed. You're right that some people seem to have easier than others. And also having gotten repeatedly ghosted the last couple of years especially, I'm quite wary of making the effort anymore.
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