Thank you so much for your hugs and great advice.

in the past I thought he has bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder but it only matches a few symptoms when I came crossed online about communal narcissist. it matches him 100%. I found this out in December 2022. I have felt so much pain because I know nothing can change him except I walk away from this marriage. I have put up with him over the years because I was so blinded and didn't know what I have experienced was an abused relationship. you are right, he asked for a divorce to scare me again but this time I asked him if that is what he wants and he said why I put the ball in his hands. He threaten me that he will kill himself. I think he manipulates me again.