Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I think it’s perfectly fine to go back to exes or sleep with them or dating them after divorce. There are no rules on what you can or can’t do.
The only concern is that you only sleep with or even hang out with ex when there are no other men available. When jay was hanging out with you more you were very into him like having butterflies etc you didn’t think of ex in that way, didn’t think of him as cuddle or soothing buddy. When jay pulled off a bit and taking it slow, now ex is needed for soothing and all of a sudden all this caring for ex.
It’s like you had to fill the space with a man. And if a man of your choice isn't there then ex will suffice. I think neither jay nor ex are good choices here at all. It’s better not to have any man right now. Imho. It only causes more stress. Or if you really want to find a man in a hurry, I’d focus on looking for better quality men.
Is being with your ex make you happy? If yes then maybe that’s the way to go.
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Please understand the difficulty of my situation, divine. I am in a very awful position in my life. And I am terrified.
I get rejection after rejection for my job applications.... it's depressing as all hell. I am borrowing $2500 a month from my mother right now to survive. I am NOT in a good position.
IF I had a job and a great career path at this juncture, I likely would not have had sex with my ex. It happened - so it does happen with many couples who break up - not all break ups are linear or clean.
And yes, Jay has pulled back some, and there was my ex, willing and wanting to comfort me.
I also don't like not knowing if Jay will move to the Caribbean, whether we will continue seeing one another, or whether he will hook up with someone on his sailing trip.
Not everything is so black and white.. there are many gray areas in life.
And I am human - not superhuman. I have weaknesses, and I have weak moments. So be it. I can accept that.
So, I faltered and slept with my ex. So I also happened to meet someone new that I like, which was completely unplanned and unanticipated. I wasn't looking for a new man or a relationship - we met, we started talking at shows, formed a rapport and friendship first, and then started hanging out more.... it naturally occurred and naturally unfolded.
I was doing OK without a man for many months.... So, I am leaning into this a bit more because I am in a bad way.