I wonder if longing for your wife to be different than she is, is tied to a childhood longing that you had for your alcoholic parent.... children of alcoholic parents are often forced to grow up fast, & become the caretaker of their parent... rather than the reverse. That longing could very well be tied to your childhood. Something to think about at least.
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"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"
~4 Non Blondes
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