Believe it or not, my oldest said

"I think you had to look after a lot, and it was just expected. I think you just took on responsibility on the farm because if you didn't it would have had a lot of repercussions. You always told us with our pets, Animals don't care if you're tired or if you had a bad day, they need you. So I think you just worked and looked after stuff, and if someone was drinking you just looked after more. I also think no one in your family noticed that you did that and I don't think you ever got much credit for it. So, doing a lot, and not being noticed for it was normal to you. Not being treated fairly was normal to you. And that is just what you continued to do with Mom. Dad, you told me just because something is normal for you it doesn't mean it is right. Well, this isn't right for you just because it's what's normal for you."