Oh dammit, tonight I blew it again. I always do this. I feel like I lost control and before I knew it I was telling him everything I've been feeling. You know how some people are compulsive liars? Well I feel like I'm compulsively honest. I have an anonymous online diary, but I let him read it because for some reason I have this need to have at least one person in my life who knows almost everything about me, and wrote some stuff about what I've been thinking and feeling. Well he read it and before I knew it we were talking online and he got upset I haven't been telling him my feelings and I told him everything... It ended up awful where we both felt terrible, I don't even know what's going on now, he used to tell me he always wanted me to tell him everything I'm feeling, now he says he doesn't even care, he just wants to trust what I say... What does that mean?

Ugh I can't believe I blew it.