No, I don't generalize and say "all men are like this" or "all women are like this".

I also didn't assume you were the abuser elephantmangoes. I was just saying perception and self examination is important.

My wife has told numerous people outside our home about the abuse she has to endure from me. I don't think she's being manipulative. I think she truly believes she is the one that is wronged. She refuses to look at her own flawed perceptions.

Like you, things began to change for me when my oldest began to validate the things I was experiencing. And like you I was reluctant to say my wife was abusive with the things she said. My oldest child was the first to label it like that.

I was so verbally beaten down I didn't believe I had the strength or ability to move forward. Once we separated I was emotionally devastated for weeks, and hopeless. Then it began to improve.

I'm becoming stronger. The members on this board were a huge support to me.

You are good enough, and smart enough, and strong enough to move forward too.

RDM