When your partner/spouse/and even friend is an alcoholic/addict they become very self absorbed and can act like they care but that part of their brain actually is not working and instead doesn’t really consider the feelings of spouse/friend/or children.

This leaves spouse/partner/friend/ children feeling vey alone and disconnected and even betrayed in that the alcoholic consistently fails to recognize the hurt they cause. Instead they continue to be all about their own feelings and needs. They can feel loss but not the loss others feel that they hurt in this very selfish disease.

Typical conversations are about “you have to support my needs” and if you don’t follow along with that you are deemed unsupportive and mean abusive etc etc. the drama that is constant is mostly “ all about me and my needs”

My father never admitted he was an alcoholic. My father regretted and was even tearful about his failings. Yet he never looked at me and said he was sorry if I had been hurt. I loved my father, yet I wish he was able to look at me and acknowledge that he understands he hurt me.

That part is missing when someone is an alcoholic/addict. It’s the nature of that disease and how it affect a persons brain.