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Originally Posted by nonightowl
Agree with everything you wrote. In hindsight, I've had few true female friends and have always gotten along better with men. That being said though, I don't have any close male friends either except one, since men aren't known to be open with their feelings lol.
Back in 2006 I had a female friend I knew over 10 years suddenly ghost me. She wasn't exactly CLOSE close, but not just an acquaintance either. She stopped responding to my voicemail or email, but because I knew her so long I sent a snail mail. She finally responded saying we have nothing in common anymore and friendships end. There's no reason for it, she said. It just IS. Her life has changed a lot, she said. Well mine too, not that she had any interest anymore.
Certainly NOT doing that again with anybody, but if she had told me in that first place it would have saved us BOTH aggravation. I'd have closure and she'd have the peace of not hearing from me!
What really gets me is how people PRETEND they want to be your friend or they like you, when the opposite is true. And what you said about people basing a friendship on what they can "get" is called transactional friendship. Another member posted about it once. It's sort of like a business transaction, what they can get. Services rendered! How sick is that?? I don't know what these people got from me but it certainly wasn't money or rides!
Nobody ever asks how I am either, it's just about them and talking about themselves. I had one "friend" who repeatedly told me about her time with her mom, whom she is close to, even though she knows mine is deceased and I had a strained relationship with her (if you can even CALL it a relationship). How insensitive. No empathy. If I had a friend with a deceased mom, I'd NEVER talk to her about what a good time I had with mine! I thought she was better than that, but boy was I wrong!
This technology makes it easier for people to ghost someone. I didn't grow up with this stuff about blocking or deleting or whatnot...Avoiding someone back in the day wasn't that simple! I know ghosting is seemingly acceptable in our culture, and it's especially done by young people. But ANY age can pull that crap.
Well you've got me on this site; I'm always willing to talk to a fellow feline.
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Sorry to hear about your so called friends. I got along with most guys better too, but these days I avoid being friends eith any guy as most of thrm are obsessed with sex, ugh! I have had guys not take no for an snswer even when they knew I’m married. Yuck!
They were all ugly too, but still, that wouldn’t chsnge things. And most of them lacked empathy too most of time. Thry just didn’t want to hear me talk about issues they thought were ‘unimportant’. So I ended things with them for not respecting boundaries.
As for that friend who ghosted you, ar least she responded back to you. Most women won’t even bother giving other women an explanation. They lnow it’d hurt more to make the other person womder if they did or said something wrong.
It’s difficult to be friends with most women as some of them are so petty thst hurtung their pride or their ego in any way can cause them to end the friendship right away even of you’ve been friends for awhile. A lot of them can’t handle it when you’re better off than they are. A lot of them are jealous & insecure people.
I was just unfollowed & blocked by a selfish so called friend who pretended to want to hear about my recent trip to Spain then blocked me after I posted up pics.
Weirdo! I blocked her & deleted her instagram & number too. It’s very obvious thst she is jealous of me. Four other wimen who feigned interest ghosted me too on texts.
I don’t get most women. Why say I can’t wait yo see your pics then ghost? It’s ridiculous passive aggressive behavior. Can you explain that? I have a new thread about that btw. I’d love to hear your insight into things
As far as the transactional ‘friendships’, it is disgusting. It’s either that or they use you for attention as a free ‘therapist’ to dump all their problems on, someone to go out with when no guy is around, someone, to sell stuff to, etc. You were probably used as someone to hang out with or to talk to. They probably needed you for attention & validation. I know that I was.
Regarding the last friend, she didn’t realize how much she was hurting yiu with her comments it seems like. Did you ever tell her to not mention stuff that triggers you? Next time, it’d be a good idea to set boundaries.
It’s nice to meet another feline in the same boat btw.