@Bill3 yes you know this one. And this is and never was something you could fix. You have a good heart, you deserved better. @RDMercer this is not something you can fix either and it pains you because you are capable of caring and it’s hurting your children who need to feel safe and loved so they can grow and mature. Yes your wife is a bottomless pit and you are powerless to change that. It was never that you were not good enough, and your children need to understand this too.

You can feel the pain of others, alcoholics don’t, and that is because their addiction shuts off that part of the brain. This is why these individuals never mature and tend to stay self absorbed and self centered. The partner/friend/spouse/children all suffer and feel very alone and confused because of this.

You and your children deserve better. @Starlingflock, you too deserve to heal and have someone who is actually mature and capable of caring. You too cannot fix your husband, keep trying and let him go as he only brings problems and doesn’t care.