Goodness gracious today was WILD. The kids were out of their minds. All of them, even the nonverbal kids, even the one who hardly ever melts down. She had the worst meltdown of all of them; screaming, crying, head banging, biting herself…all because we tried to get her to get her school picture taken. We had to hold her down so she wouldn’t hurt herself. The three verbal boys spent the whole day giving nasty attitudes and arguing with each other. One of them had a complete meltdown over legos. If I drank you can bet I’d be having a drink tonight! Full moon effect is REAL!

We’re leaving for Florida on Friday. I’m starting to get nervous. I wish I’d asked my pdoc for some Xanax. I’m having a bit of a panic attack right now. My heart is pounding and I can’t breathe for really no reason at all. I’ve been doing well with panic attacks, I haven’t had one in a week. I must just be stressed about the vacation. I just hate traveling so much. The vacation itself should be nice but the actual act of traveling is just SO stressful to me!

Idk if the lexapro is working or if the ECT finally kicked in but I do feel less depressed. But the lexapro is giving me some undesirable personal side effects. So idk if I’m going to stay on it. It all depends on what happens when I come back. Like I said it’s a personal issue so I don’t want to go into details.

Ugh I’m going to take the full 100mg of seroquel tonight and just knock myself out.