(((RD))))

Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. Everyone experiences anger, and it's very common to go through a very angry phase once the veil lifts and you realize what you're dealing with.

Codependent no more has an entire chapter dedicated to anger. She says she didn't allow herself to feel anything for so many years that once she started feeling anger she was terrified it would never stop.

But as they say, you have to feel it to heal it.

You are entitled to the anger, and processing it out of your system. Maybe you weren't allowed to be angry as a child either? That perfectly normal emotion always seems reserved for someone else?

Something I've come to understand recently is that anger is something you feel, process, and move past. Anger is not something you do to or take out on someone else. Something you do to someone else, whether overt, covert, verbal, physical, passive, etc, is aggression. The distinction is important because it helps remove the stigma from the normal emotion of anger.

Whenever my DH is gone for a few days, it's like the emotional headspace in the house clears and those of us here are allowed to have our emotions again. He literally hijacks all the emotional headspace in the house, and it's hard to explain to someone else how this happens. No emotions but his matter, and everyone else's are trampled. We didn't even realize how much we'd repressed our emotions because of him. We now work on expressing/processing our emotions in a way that is healthy for us, but doesn't engage him.

Anyhow, I suspect that given how she is, whatever you begin to feel is probably very normal, and you should honor it and ride it out. Even if it feels like it will never pass, it will.

Hope you are feeling okay today.