Yes there’s definitely lots of variables, and I do think I was very lucky to meet such lovely friends. I did a lot of volunteering with several organisations (basically to build my confidence which was low) and met lots of different people, most of them friendly and nice but only some of them were open to friendship, and even then not all of them were compatible. Because I had no friends I was quite happy just to volunteer alongside people, the social contact was pleasant for me. The friends I did make came after around 4 years so it wasn’t a quick thing,

We’re all different but I personally would find the scenario you describe OP of women sitting around talking (about themselves or indeed myself), quite stressful, I prefer an activity of some sorts, it feels less intense to me, takes the pressure off (I’m not an extrovert at all). Volunteering or sports clubs have worked well for me, if not friendships but pleasant low level sociability. If that makes sense!