Quote:
Originally Posted by Motts
Anyone who knows me, knows I love to cite sources. :P
Toxic People: 12 Things They Do and How to Deal with Them - Hey Sigmund
Again, my belief is that anyone who uses the 100% lame excuse, "it's not you, it's me," is trying to escape being held accountable for their actions. If people were just more emotionally mature enough to communicate how they feel with each other, then this lame excuse wouldn't be used as an emotional shield, per se, to deflect the other person's emotional response.
i.e. the OP's situation about her sharing her Spain vacation photos. That was a cool trip and she shared it with this group of women acquaintances online, whom she's also spent time with in person.
Instead of congratulating the OP on her vacation and commenting on the photos, and reciprocating the OP's efforts to maintain their connection to the OP, these women just basically ghosted the OP without any context. So, yeah, it is about them not prioritizing the OP's feelings or expression of joy at finally taking a great vacation after the horrible 3-year long pandemic that Covid-19 was.
OP, if you're still reading...those women aren't good friends. They're just 1/2 invested in their connection to you. It sounds like you realized this and lowered your expectations (which is the best response).
Keep trying to find women to befriend. Women friendships are so good for our soul. It's hard because at our age (the 50s), most women have etched out their lives and aren't emotionally available anymore to other women friendships. At least that's been my experience (sorry for my projection). |
Thanks Motts, you hit the nail on the head with everything 100%! They obviously lied about wanting to get together & wanting to see my pics. Why woyluld they do that?
I was nothing but nice to them. To nice as I listened to them talk about their various health issues,, work issues & other drama with no complaints at all.
As I said, they never asked about me at all! Everything was all about them! I think they couldn’t stand to not be the center of attention.
Itself obvious that they were very jealous of me too. Especially the nasty womanwho blocked me on Instagram after I posted my pics up. She claimed she wanted to see those pics., so why would she block me for posting them then?
Weird! I tend to attract these nasty selfish types for some reason! I don’t understand how other people cant see what they did was wrong & just brushed it off to personality differences like blocking someone for sharing pics is no big deal. I doubt they’d feel the same way if this happened to them.