I decided to skip the atenolol this morning and oh goddd... I had more energy.. But my hands are shaking. My resting heart rate is 120bpm.

I'm an idiot - I took the atenolol just now. I should especially be off the stimulant before stopping the beta blocker.. How did I not think of that.. I don't think things 100% through + Suicidal thoughts last night.. I felt great..

And I exercised, climbed mountains last summer.. I'll be doing that again this summer. I was fine.. I don't want to mess that up.

Hopefully my heart damage from stimulant abuse (When I was younger) is MILD... And can be fixed by regular exercise..

Stimulant abuse can cause sinus tachycardia (I finally had ChatGPT to tell me, cuz Googling was useless for that).

I stopped the stimulant for around a year before starting the beta blocker.. So it was okay to add the stimulant again.. And I started antipsychotics before I started the stimulant (Before that). I'm an odd psychiatric case.

Life is difficult. I don't want to stop the stimulant.. I was doing fine, no problems... I keep messing everything up though. Although I mess up much less.

RIP. Don't misuse ur stim, benzo or opioid