I don't want to argue with her because I don't want to cause more hurt, and because I don't want to become heightened.

As for her hitting my buttons, I don't even know if she's doing it consciously.

Ultimately I'd be arguing with a damaged person in deep emotional pain.

Her life has to be crumbling right now. To her, her husband blindsided her and turned her kids against her. He's refusing to sell or move, he's breaking her financially, and he's threatening to move the family several hours away in September, which means her chance of a relationship with her kids is gone.

And in her mind, NONE of that is created by her.

I'm so tired of being blamed, and feeling so defensive.

RDM