@RDMercer you are not responsible for your children not wanting to be around their mother.
Please remember how your son told you how much he wanted his mother to not invade and frighten him for the last six years especially. It clear that your son reached out for help and counseling a while ago with how much he has learned.

Your children FEAR their mother.

I fear for your youngest who experiences anxiety. I pray she learns about alcoholism/addiction so that she doesn’t end up self medicating and developing a problem herself. I have seen that happen and it’s bad and in some cases deadly.

You know you are not bad mouthing their mother or manipulating them. You are just listening and trying to be supportive.

And you know what? There is no anonymous when someone is an alcoholic, especially in a small town. People pretty much already know.