Quote:
Originally Posted by RollercoasterLover
I'm not sure my perspective about your last job is going to be recieved well. I think your best option is to not count on references or referrals. I think when asked about that job, you should have a simple honest answer and change the focus on the question.
I had a coworker at my previous employer who was in a similar situation, but for different reasons. He was fired for good cause despite having excellent performance. Officially it was called a mismatch between skillset and company needs after restructuring. The truth is he was insubordinate and had a tendency toward violent outbursts. Our VP decided it was better to lose 1 person than lose 25 people who refused to work with him But the HR team advised everyone who he had worked with to not respond to emails, texts, etc through any work accounts or keep any professional connections. If they chose to communicate or supply a reference, it must be using personal accounts and devices, and not on company time and without reference to the company we worked for. I'm not saying this is the exact thing that happened to you. I'm saying perhaps you aren't fully aware of your former employer's perspective of your time with them. The why you can't count on their support needs to take a back seat to the simple fact that you can't count on it, so don't.
I doubt that job killed your career. I think it simply impacts the way you leverage it in a job search. If you admit it was a bad fit and all attempts to make things fit didn't work, then talk about what you are doing to be a better fit for your next employer, you are showing personal growth, awareness and a willingness to adapt. These are soft skills employers look for in candidates.
Did you ever find out if your state offers reemployment benefits to those on unemployment? It really was very helpful for me to practice interviewing skills and framing responses to certain questions with someone who was more experienced at interviewing.
I can't really comment on your mom and that situation, but I can see how your mom changing her tune would impact your anxiety level. I think talking it through will be good. Good luck and I hope it works out ok.
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RollercoasterLover, actually, your response is very helpful to me! TY!
I had wondered if they each have been advised to not be in touch with me. However, about a month after being let go, the VP of that company reached out to tell me he was sorry about what happened, that they appreciated my contributions, and asked if I needed any job referrals.
This email from the VP came before I contacted my boss from the same company, informing him that I felt I had to fib to prospective employers about what happened there and also letting him know that one employer may contact him to ask him about me. I have since, sent a second email to the same boss, just recently,. informing him now that I am no longer lying about what happened, I am telling the truth and if someone calls him, can he speak to my strengths, just to confirm because he already told me he would.
My boss replied to my first email and not my second. He told me that he will not lie if asked a direct question about me, that he would speak to my strengths, that he wishes me success and has no animosity towards me. However, he did not reply to my second email, where I told him I was no longer fibbing. I thought he'd appreciate that, but no word back.
So I've been wondering if all there have been advised not to speak with me anymore.
Unlike your story of the guy who was insubordinate, I was not that way.... there was one time in the beginning where I put off a task onto someone else that I thought could do a far better job, and when I got called out on it, I made sure to be an extra hard working and positive team player after that. I did everything I was asked to do, and did not repeat the behavior. And I had done that because I didn't have confidence I could do the task.