Funny, I just had a pap smear done too, and it was awful as well (more so due to past abuse rather than physical pain though). My dr used the small speculum like Rainbow said and that makes a huge difference. I don't know your psych med situation, but I took some Zyprexa before I went in so I was kinda out of it and not super tense/anxious as well.

That's too bad about the cream and having to go back. I'm sure after a while you'll get used to applying it though. I hope your next pap smear goes much more smoothly (I'm sure it will).