Hey Mr sadmanagain........ I understand and can ID with all that you feel emotionally. I went through a similar situation a few times with who I thought was my soulmate but actually was just another human being. You can live with someone 50 years and still not really know them. I just want to say 1 thing. If your wife's an alcoholic she should be in rehab. There's no talking sense into an active alcoholic. Your just wasting your time. And you " sound" very frightened of entering the world alone and having to fend for yourself. It is scary but you can do it in time. Your wife's ptsd is not your problem. SHE has to work through that herself. I don't mean to come off cold but the reality of the situation has to be discussed. Hopefully in separate and couples therapy.
Someone earlier said " listen" ........I think that was a direct message to you because you ask for help and advice but you don't seem to listen because you keep bringing up the same things over and over again seemingly disregarding good advice.
Best of luck to you.....